Time and Guilt

As a pastor, I find myself torn between balancing my time in several areas: study, visitation, meetings, community involvement, and family. When I evaluate the amount of time I spend in each of these areas, I inevitably feel like I have failed. If I studied more, the message would have been better; if I would have made that visit, it would have made a difference; if I didn't have so many meetings and events to attend, my family life would be so much better. The cycle repeats week-in and week-out. Seeking to prioritize the time I spend in each area becomes laborious and overwhelming as well.

I cannot accomplish all the tasks that I desire to do, let alone all the tasks that well meaning and loving congregants desire me to do. I find myself spending fewer nights with my family, and feeling guilty about both ministry and family.

How do I respond to this guilt?

What gain has the worker from his toil? . . . I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live. - Solomon (Ecc 3:9,12)

The Word of God reminds me that I am to find my joy in Him. I am not a slave to the tyranny of unrealistic expectations (either mine, or my congregation's). I must remind myself that I am to love God, love my family, and love His church. In doing these things, I find joy and do good.

I am an ordinary pastor. Ordinary means I don't always meet the expectations of others in my management of time, but ordinary means I don't have to feel guilty.

Shaking free of praise

On my last trip to the book store at the Desiring God Pastor's Conference I found this paperback by Erwin Lutzer called, "Pastor to Pastor, Tackling the Problems of Ministry." I started it immediately and recommend it to ordinary pastors.

Chapter two tackled a congregation's expectations. A few statements really spoke to me. Actually, they spoke about me.

"If we are self-conscious, always wondering how well we are liked, we'll soon be slaves to the pulse of our popularity."

"When we're overly sensitive to what others think, we'll also live with guilt - the nagging feeling that we could be doing more."

"The desire for human praise and the faith to minister cancel each other - seek the one and the other eludes you."

"If we are especially sensitive, if we cannot tolerate differences of opinion, and if we refuse to learn from criticism, we're still clinging to our reputation."

Jesus, writes Lutzer, was free from man's opinions about Him. He was surrendered to His Heavenly Father, secure, and "free from actions motivated by a desire for human praise." To be like Him, Lutzer offers this counsel:

1. Don't let people push you into their mold.
2. Profit from criticism.
3. Don't be afraid to let your humanity show.
4. Don't see the success of another as a threat to your ministry.

Men's praise, I hate to admit, is one of my idols. I know it and I'm fighting it. I'm praying for the grace to finally shake free of caring about what others think of me or say about me.