Correcting suspicion

A year ago about this time someone came into my office with this allegation: "Someone is trying to run us out of the church."

"What?" I was shocked. "How do you know?"

"We've noticed that when we move seats, this person moves, too. They sit nearby. They talk to the people we've just greeted during the welcome."

"But, how do you know they want to run you out of the church?"

"Because of their behavior. It's like they have to watch us. They are making us feel uncomfortable and we may just have to leave."

Ever since this little encounter I've been struck how often and how quickly false assumptions are made about the motives and intentions of other people. I hear them all the time. I think it is probably one of the most common, subtly destructive forces in the body of Christ. Divisions start here and even the slighest offense is multipied.

It happens like this: "Joe" doesn't understand the behavior of "Rick". Joe draws his own fanciful conclusions which seem very logical to him. He believes his conclusions. He thinks he has the truth. Then everything Rick subsequently does is filtered through Joe's conclusions and appears to validate them. Joe starts acting on these assumptions of his and maybe even sharing them with others. The little mustard seed of suspicion he allowed to be planted in his heart begins to grow and bloom and bear awful fruit.

Why didn't Rick say "hi" when I came into the room? Come to think of it, he didn't even look at me. What did I do? Is it because I'm not a professional like him? He thinks he is so superior to everyone. Jerk.

How does a pastor combat unproven suspicions within the church, especially when they often go unsaid. Obviously, we preach the Word of God which reminds us over and over to love one another as Jesus loved us. Part of loving one another is believing the best about a person. Assuming the worst before we know the facts isn't love, it's sin. "Love believes all things...hopes all things" (I Cor. 13:7).

Aside from preaching the Word, pastors must model practicing the Word. First, pastors must model love and refuse to cultivate suspicions about others. We are just as prone to assume false truths as anyone else. We may share with our church our assumptions about the President or share privately with our wives assumptions about a church leader. When we see what we're doing, we should be quick to acknowledge them as sin and stop it in its tracks. If we shared a false assumption in public, maybe we should apologize in public, too.

Second, pastors must model loving correction. Oh boy. This is the unspoken bane of ministry: correcting people. But it must be done - lovingly, gently, respectfully, humbly - but still done, and unapologetically. After we take the log out of our own eye, then we are charged with looking after one another spiritually. We're not the only ones with this charge, but we ought to be models of it. If assumptions are shared in our hearing we should address them. If shared privately, then privately. If shared publically, then publically.

Lord willing, our bane could be the other person's blessing.

The goal is to cultivate an atmosphere of love and self-evaluation in the church. Relationships that last are tested. Authentic community goes deep. Real, Biblical friendships are forged by talking and confessing to one another, not by assuming and avoiding. How can members worship God truly when they are thinking of one another falsely? It can't happen.

What happened in the situation I recounted at the beginning? I questioned their assumptions. I didn't write them off or laugh at them, I just challenged them. I also told them some other just-as-likely conclusions that could be made. I encouraged them to find out the truth by talking to this individual. That's the last I heard of it.

But I hear other assumptions made among brothers and sisters in Christ and I'm certain that's not even half of what people are thinking. Because suspicion breeds suspicion, a pastor's hands are always full.